When I first started working a IKEA, which really wasn't that long ago, it never really seemed all that busy. Granted, I only worked weekdays for the first two months, so it was generally pretty quiet. Maybe I'd have five or six, maybe ten customers in the department at a time, and that was a lot. But lately, it's been busy non-stop, throughout the week. We're always busy on the weekends - 10,000 people or more. But after the holiday rush at the end of last year, I feel like it never really calmed back down. Sometimes on Mondays, we still have the delayed weekend crowd trickling in, but even Tuesday and Wednesday mornings and afternoons these days are just super busy. Obviously, this is a good thing for the store. More people = more money. But if there's one thing you know about me from reading any of this blog, it's that I hate stupid people. And let's be honest - the more people there are in the store, the greater chance there is that someone stupid is going to talk to me. So needless to say, I've been less than excited about the influx of customer terrorizing me at work.
Let me summarize today's events as an illustration. Every morning, the receptionist makes an announcement at 10:00 that the store is officially open for business. We open the doors at 9:30 for breakfast an perusal, but the registers don't open until 10. I clocked in this morning at 9:56 and proceeded onto the sales floor. By the time the receptionist made the 10:00 announcement, four people had already asked me how to get downstairs. Literally, within four minutes of walking into the store, while we weren't even officially open, four individual people were so convinced that they were lost, and were too lazy to read the sign that was directly above me directing them to the stairs, that they had to ask me for directions to a destination less than 100 feet away. Amazing.
My main task for the day was to build a set of sliding doors to cover a new wardrobe display. We're in a building frenzy because Kristofer (or CHRISTofer, as I like to call him) is coming this week. He's the President of IKEA North America, or something like that. Basically, he's important. Twice a year or so, he walks through the store and criticizes us, so clearly, we have to make sure everything is perfect in order to be criticized as little as possible. Thus, I've been building a lot of displays to catch his eye and make us look like we know what we're doing. Sliding doors are among the most ridiculous IKEA items to build. They take about four hours to build, mostly because every 10 minutes, a customer sees that I'm busy and asks for assistance. At one point today, I was literally standing on a ladder, holding a drill in one hand, and supporting an 80 pound door with the other, and a customer asks "Are you busy?" So I wanted to say "absolutely not. Your needs always come before my immediate safety." Instead, I took a deep breath and said "No. What do you need?" Coarse, but slightly more appropriate.
The best part of the day was when I was sitting inside the closet, attaching the doors to the frame. For at least twenty minutes, I was literally shut inside the closet, hidden from view. It was the only peace I got. Given that the flow of customers lately has been so heavy, the only way to catch a breath is literally to hide behind furniture. Perhaps I'll hide myself inside closets more often...
Back to Kristofer, though. The last time he came through, we had a similar building frenzy where I basically had to rebuild anything that was any less than perfect. He finally showed up, insisted that we put fitted sheets on all the box springs, among other ridiculous demands. Clearly, that's the dumbest idea ever. Anyhow, that day at lunch, he and his posse happened to come into the cafeteria while I was eating. They got lunch, which was of course free since they're so important, and he started walking towards me. I immediatly assume he's going to sit with me and try to chit chat with the "good old coworker," and all I can think is "What the hell am I going to say to him?" After all, his very presence had doubled my workload, and besides, he's Swedish...what do I talk to a Swede about? Swedish Fish? He keeps walking towards me, walks right past me, so close that he brushes up against my chair, and sits in the corner with the managers. I was slightly relieved, and slightly pissed off. He came all the way from Sweden and he's just gonna sit and talk shop with the managers? Dumb.
Anyhow, after today's extended sliding door building experience, I feel I've done my part to limit Kristofer's list of demands. Hopefully we can move him through and get him back to Sweden ASAP.
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