Back to the blogging board?

I know, it's been weeks since I updated, and you're probably furious with me, but IKEA has made me want to slit my wrists lately, and coming home from work to write about work was the last thing I wanted to do. But I turned a new leaf today. I came to the realization that IKEA is just about the least important thing in the world, and getting my panties in a knot about it is just not worth it; thus, I return to mock the frivolous institution which has made me both miserable and moderately financially stable for the last 10 months.

Yes, it's been 10 months, which means I'm coming up on a year. A whole year of my life spent making beds and picking up paper tape measures and mini pencils. I promise I'll recount more tales of customer and coworker idiocy very soon, but at the moment I'm sitting in Starbucks using the free internet because I no longer have my own internet, which makes posting a little more difficult. I'm moving to a new house in a month where the internet is abundantly present, so posting will be easier then!

For now, I'll leave you with a quick story, as Starbucks is getting ready to kick me out.

The other day, this tobacco chewing back-woods He-man came sauntering up to me with his mail-order-bride in tow, and informed me he wanted a bed. I started drawing up an order for him, and asked if he needed slats (basically, a platform that replaces the box spring) for the bed. He replied "HELL YES I NEED THE SLATS." I calmly informed him that if he had a box spring, he didn't need them. "I'm trying to save you money sir, because if you have a boxspring, you don't need to buy the slats."

"YES I HAVE A BOX SPRING BUT I STILL NEED THE FUCKING SLATS."

I politely repeated that he didn't need both, and I was trying to help him, to which he replied "CAN YOU JUST TRY TO GET THIS SHIT RIGHT?"

I stared intently, and said "Whatttt did you just say to me?"

He repeated himself slowly "I SAID, CAN YOU JUST GET THIS SHIT RIGHT?"

I stared for a second, and said "I'm trying my best to help you. If you want my help, you'll speak to me with respect. If you want to be an asshole, get the fuck out of my store."

He looked at me without a hint of thought or emotion, blinked and shut his mouth. I printed off his order and sent him on his way. Then I put my head on my desk and cried for humanity. FML.