They were having a sale!

If you've been watching any television lately, chances are you've seen the commercials for the IKEA sale. People have been streaming in looking to snag fantastic deals on various homewares, and inevitably been disappointed by the sad array of junk we actually have on sale. Unless you're looking for Holiday napkins or pet supplies, we don't really have much to offer, which is astounding, given the way we advertise this sale.

As you know, I work in the bedrooms department. We actually do have a few reasonably useful things on sale - basically the whole Malm series in oak, some cabinet doors - anything that's discontinued. I think the issue at hand, though, is that given the enormous range of products that we carry, one would expect a broader sale, when in fact, we really have very little on sale. This, obviously, has bothered the customers (because if there's one thing you should know from reading this blog, it's that everything bothers customers) as much as it bothers me. People keep coming up to me and asking "What's on sale?" When I rattle off the relatively short list of sale items, reactions range from underenthused mumblings - "great, just what I need" - to violent disbelief - "WHAT? I DROVE 150 MILES FOR NOTHING?"

We did, however, have a big one-day-only sale on a wardrobe. It's a pretty basic wardrobe - three doors, hanging space, shelving. It's usually $99.99 (it used to be $99, but in an effort to increase our already disgustingly high profits, we jacked it up a whole 99 cents) but for July 5th only it was $49.99. In case you didn't already know, every IKEA product has a Swedish name. The names don't really translate to anything having to do with the function of the product, it's just a nomenclature system to identify the products. This wardrobe was called "Dombas," which is probably supposed to be pronounced "Dome-bahs," but of course we call it the "Dumb-ass." (For specific nomenclature details and other naming snafoos, check out this out.) So, as hundreds of people paraded into the store on July 5th asking "where's the wardrobe that's on sale?" I unabashedly responded "OOOH, you mean the Dumbass?" Pretty much everyone just looked at me without saying anything, at which point I would tell them it was in the warehouse, but few kindred spirits found it as hilarious as I did and at the very least, chuckled a bit.